Letter 10. Hermit Kingdom

 

 

 

 

(phone ringing)

 

 

 

 

 

-Hello?

 

 

-John?

 

 

-Hellooo?

 

 

Hi, it’s Bryan.

 

 

 

Yeah my life is kind of a nutcase. Of course Luis-the dog was trying to bite me the other week... that shouldn't surprise you.

 

 

Just consider where I live, and you wouldn’t be for a bit surprised that they will just dump their dogs on the other side of the road. That was an old dog

And a good dog.

 

 

-Can you tell me why did you email me?

 

 

 

 

Cause Luis-the dog was trying to bite me the other week…

 

 

Oh, shit... here!

(reading out loud)

We’ve got 95 churches

In this damn county.

We have 2 high schools

And no secondary education

And..

And global warming is a joke here!

You know, there is no such thing as climate change and all that.

 

 

 

-John, why did you email me?

 

 

 

 

 

Cause Luis-the dog.

I should have got out of this goddamn town in my 20s, with this attitude problem I’ve got that nothing can be done, and tell someone some of the crap that goes on damn here!

 

 

 

 

-What are you depressed about?

 

 

 

I am 49 years old… 48,

 

One year closer to 49.

I should have…

Boy, if you use this in the future you….(Inaudible)

I should have got out of this goddamn fucking shit town

In my 20s.

I should have done something useful with my life.

I love my home,

I don’t know why…

I lived here all my life,

My mum lived here most of her life,

My dad lived here most of his life,

My grandpa Miller lived here all his life.

I’m looking over the yard - look at this rose garden, isn't it beautiful!

________________________

 

Don’t get this shit baby.

 

Downtown - shitetown!

Watch the fuck out fucking around.

And then you’re like -

I stepped on something and look over my foot and it’s a hotdog and I’m like-

WHAAAYO,

and then you…..

I spent my whole life sayin’ enough is enough

I spent my whole life sayin’ “fuck, I’m a virgin!”

I spent my whole life putting water in my Sprite cup

I spent my whole life wishing that I was better than I am

I spent my whole life buying white shoes and getting mustard on them

I spent my whole life eating chocolate and wishing it was white chocolate.

I spent my whole life drinking a milkshake.

I spent my whole life not tying my shoes

I spent my whole life talking in a funny voice

I spent my whole life eating a pizza.

I spent my whole life telling people -Oh man, yeah you can go through this, it's totally fine!

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF55LNrHBSw

 

 

 

 

 

 

(stop music)