Letter 4. Sustematic Randomness

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylXk1LBvIqU

 

The reason I’m putting this chapter down is because I really dislike writing, like too much! I’ve read that a fourth of population are chronic procrastinators, and the reason why I digged out this piece of information isn’t a lucky coincidence.

That’s right,  I would rather spend time finding a reason why I can't bloody get cracking with this burning cadillac deadline for my ‘thesis’. I found my fingers dragging down the keyboards so self-indulgently, like dying fingers. I even know where and when I'll make a typo , but I’ll do it anyway. It’s almost like a ritual - lying up that stamp of approval on my self doubt.

 

Every morning I wake up and I know I have no room for an old routine. In fact I believe I have to invent a new one AND that really excites me. The process of finding a new one should not be predetermined in the scarily clear conscious level, in fact it should be chaotically researched with an outsider kind of method, where one is not aware one is actually working.

I don't know whether it’s a fear of commitment or other bollocks like a fear of failure..? But one thing I know, this morning I woke up and I wanted to procrastinate, but in a productive way, sort of an act of chewing gum with a flavour and also knowing it’s a nicotine one.

 

Spelling corrector is a good device on this google drive thing, it allows you to go back and correct it all. It’s a perfect tool for procrastinators. Once you correct the word, it’s almost like you erase all your shame, as you forget how many cretin-based mistakes and typos and stylistic repetition you made. As the red gradually disappears from the monitor, you feel self-validated and by re-reading, what you have so-called came up with in the first go (like some freakin’ Alex Katz) you preserve the presence of the self-indulgent satisfaction. Not a trace of memory about the red curvy fried lines….right?

But Why? What if the method can be birthed out from the failure and the repetition of reminding oneself about this failure.

 

I wrote down all the words I corrected in one text hoping for the absolute segregation of  the meaning. I must have made so many mistakes, (so not being bothered by writing this god damn dissertation) that the rapidness of typos became so systematic, that by flipping through these distilled automatic writings, it’s more likely to get the actual linear meaning.

To emphasise the rhythmic structure, I’ve broken the lines down with an ‘Escape’ tool:

 

Tools Spelling

Deco cards

Time I Visited Saying

through Login Firstly Registered

Tripled Exhibiting Indifference Towards Presence

There

Carnival

People Going Spending Drawing

Couldn't Let With Simply being

Interested In Drawing Because

Occasionally At the People's Front Of

Unreachable separately

Self Clear

Sunk Because Young Laughs Disdain

Yahoo Number

Acrylic Belief

Towards The Neither to



 

So I’ve done a bit of Krapp's Last Tape Beckett’s move and wrote out all the annoying typos from my explanatory text on the methodology of writing out annoying typos. Here it comes:

 

Reason

Writing

Fifth Fourth Population

Didn't Incidence Finding

Can't Cracking

Nothing

Cadillac

Found fingers

Self I'll Do Lies stamp

Wake

Wank

Don't Routine Fact I Believe

and Should not Predetermined fear Bollocks

Failure. Morning. Woke.

Procrastinates

Productive chewing

Spelling It allows

back Correct Without Comprehend

Written Procrastinators

Correct Almost erase

Cretin based typos

Stylistic Repetition Gradually Disappears

The So-called presence  - Self-indulgent Satisfaction

But why Failure? repetition?

Reminding Ones The Corrected Separation Meaning

Many Bothered Dissertation

The rapidness

Flipping through Meaning

People's In Scarily conscious

Research

Method

Where Actually

Self escape




 

So I’ve done a bit of Krapp's Last  Tpae Beket@s move and worte out all the annoying tusi fro mmy explanatory text on the methodology of wrting out annoying tupos. Here it comes:

 

Tape

Beckett

Wrote

Writing

Typos


 

Beckett

Beckett

Beckett

Beckett


 

(stop music)